Gina's rules of chocolate lead to a healthier, convenient and balanced diet

By GINA HAYES, cbbqa Member

These are Gina's Rules of Chocolate, as emailed by Gina Hayes on August 24, 2001 at 4:26 pm.  

If you follow these rules meticulously, you will enjoy a healthier, more convenient and balanced diet that will make you look younger and at the same time support business and the economy.

Vegetables

Everyone knows the importance of eating vegetables.  Lots of vegetables.  But do you know that chocolate is vegetable?  How, you ask? 

Chocolate is made from cacao beans and sugar.  Beans are vegetables.  Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar beets.  Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category.

Thus, chocolate is a vegetable!  So eat lots of vegetables by eating lots of chocolate.  It's important for your health.

Health food

To go one step further, chocolate candy bars contain milk, which is dairy.  Therefore, chocolate candy bars are a health food.

Fruit

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit.  Fruit is very good for health, so eat as many as you want.

Melted

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating too slowly.

The problem:  How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. 

The solution:  Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip

Eat a chocolate bar before each meal.  It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less at meals.

To reduce calories

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge.  Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

Balanced diet

It is important for good health to eat a balanced diet.  Therefore, eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate.

In fact, they will counteract each other, because dark chocolate cancels out the white chocolate.

Money talks

Yes, money talks.  But chocolate sings . . . beautifully.

Look younger

Chocolate has many preservatives.  Preservatives make you look younger.

Therefore, if you want to look younger, eat more chocolate.

List things to do

Make a list of important things to do today.  At the top of your list, put "eat chocolate".  Now, you'll get at least one thing done today.

Convenient

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place.  Now, isn't that handy?  And, if you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer.  

But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

Support business

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose.  An entire garment industry would be devastated.  You can't let that happen, can you?

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